Copyright 1999 By Scott C. Endsley
In what started out as a simple one page play on words-- became a short story. Months later I decided to expand it into a novel. The final product has taken almost 6 years to produce, with at least 20 rewrites, and I guess it would be best described as a humorous/fantasy/sci-fi short-story double trilogy novel that's free for whoever wants to read it. It has received a lot of praise since I completed it.
The first trilogy, Aboard My Train Of Thought, is a collection of three short-stories: (1)Coming In From Out Of A Brainstorm, (2) Yesterday's Milk, and, (3) Get The Chip Off Of Your Shoulder. Bordering sometimes on the ridiculous and just short of being totally silly, the novel is filled with lots of colorful people, such as Clyde P. Hipwing-- the protagonist of the story, also a manic -depressive author-- and his eventual destiny into the White House. Is it all just a delusion?
Others include the Right Reverend Ronald R. Ramrod, Deputy Doodah, the Rumpusaurous Rex, the One-eyed Midget-- Emilio Esparanza Mucho Gusto Julio Bigjohn-- whose friends call him Mr Big for short, Patti Peptalk-- a pscho-babble television show host, and the worlds only cat with a PhD- Miss Matilda Waudlebaum. Famous people include: Hillary Rottwiler Plimton, conservative talk-radio show host Flush Limbo, and the worlds most successful musical group ever-- those four lads from Liverwurst, otherwise known as The Bugs. It pokes fun at everything from politics to Elvis. Here's an excerpt about the origins of Elvis:
"Elvis, for instance, played in clubs for years under his real name, Arnold Gupduddle; but wasnít getting anywhere. Finally, in desperation, he auditioned to model for a denim jeans ad. He was quickly picked out because of his back-in-the-woods dumb hillbilly look. The company suggested, for some reason, that he act is if he were playing a guitar for the photo shoot, hoping to attract young girls interest in the ad; but the camera man got extremely frustrated and impatient with him most of the day, because of his lack of appeal. While venturing a certain pose, Arnold tripped and stubbed his foot, causing him to gyrate in excruciating agony with a pained look on his face for around 5 minutes; while the photographer excitedly took pictures. Life magazine, who ran the ad, didnít catch a typo error until a week after the publication was released. The caption below the picture was supposed to read LEVIS!, however someone carelessly switched the L with the E, making it read ELVIS!. Women who saw the ad went into frenzy and jammed the magazine companyís phone lines. He thereafter agreed to change his name and was offered a huge contract.. The rest is history."
The entire novel is now available for downloading by clicking here. However, to read online and/or print out the whole book, click on story one. The second half of the book is now available for reading on line, further down this page.
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Part Two of "The Salvaged Autobiographical Accounts Of Clyde P. Hipwing", "The Lackluster Chronicles Of Apathonia," is the concluding trilogy of the book, however, I would like to hear from my readers your opinion on whether I should end the book there-- or make it a continuing saga. Stories in Part 2 include, (1) Professor Endicotsley's Distant Cousin. (2) Ringing The Celestial Doorbell. And (3) The Mark Of The Anti-Beast. The trilogy takes up where the last one left off. Apathonia is an inhabited planet some 50 light years from earth, whose population is so apathetic, they've ceased to remember the prerequisites required for procreating, while their population is drastically dwindling. Find out what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY happened in Roswell. Where does Clyde fit in all of this? You can find out by reading stories 4 through 6 down below, after you've completed the first half of the book.
"When this personality finally splits; who's gonna get custody of my mind?!" Clyde P. Hipwing.
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